as much as you are stressing, i am too. i’ve been comforting you and reassuring you that nothing happened. i feel like im just a decision you shouldnt have made. you always said that you dont know who you are anymore, even your friends tell you that you’ve changed. im probably the main factor because youve changed so much. im the factor that your friends wrote those messages in your yearbook. im the only factor that couldve possibly caused something i shouldnt have and regretted. every month theres this time period where youre really stressed about something, its the same something that you always stress about during the time period. it makes me stressed too, really it does. i just feel like i shouldnt have existed to you that way you can live your normal life, and probably live a happier life because no one would be criticizing you on how much youve changed. ive said it before, time makes people change whether its age or personality. its a test for people whove known you for awhile and notices these changes to see if they will still accept you regardless how much youve changed. ive changed, but frankly no one tells me, ive always been the one to figure things about myself, but thats me. ive changed you so much that i dont even know if its ever going to be a good change, because the way i look at it and im pretty sure the way you look at it is that it wasnt a good change. im sorry. i really am. maybe my existence to you never shouldve occured. i know you said to forget what you said but it isnt the first time. i just feel this way when you say “youve changed” or “i dont know who i am anymore”. it makes me feel like im something youve regretted or something/someone that horribly changed you to become like a monster (exaggeration) which i kinda did but still. im sorry
Tired. Sleepy. Hungry.
Honestly, back the fuck up. You don’t do this shit to someone who’s already taken
one day after another
i guess we just don’t think or feel alike…you want less of it and i want more of it…maybe this change will help…maybe not? who knows. only one way to find out
I don’t even know if the things I do is right anymore
am i really overprotecting? and controlling her i guess? or is a normal thing to do
guess time will tell, its not like everything i do is helping anyways, take all the time and break you need. starting to get scared
I know how much damage the incident to you, and I’m sincerely sorry because everything’s my fault. Could’ve prevent it from happening. I’m so so sorry. They said they didn’t see anything but we probably can’t guarantee that. I know it will take some time for you to forget and recover from this incident and I totally understand. But it just feels all weird and off whenever I’m talking to you or texting you. I can see that you’re trying to make it ‘normal’ (I guess) but I could be wrong. It’s just so negative and dry sometimes… I don’t know how I can help. I tried cuddling with you, I tried to talk to you, I tried to comfort you….I tried a lot of things to make you feel better. That night I didn’t get any sleep at all…you shut me out so I couldn’t really do anything, not to mention I couldn’t really sleep either because I was so scared when you were crying your eyes out :/ I just didn’t know what to do… I had some tears but they were that intense as yours LOL. I was literally sitting there for 45minutes until I wanted to brush you face and thing…not trying to be creepy because you kinda freaked out when I did that… it was pretty disheartening to see you like that…I just felt so useless, I felt so stupid. This was supposed to be a really memorable moment for you and I fucked it up hard for you. I could only sit there and watch you cry until you past out. I’m so sorry baby. I just wish I could’ve done so much more for you. But this time period is just so heartbreaking and a little tiring. I know you need lots of time, I can respect that. I’m trying so hard to just keep you happy, keep conversations alive, make sure you feel good. I guess it takes a little time before you realize I really miss you until I say it a third time.. I don’t plan to make this a big deal but it’s nice to know that you’re missing me sometimes you know…I just need to find a way to relight our spark. :c I still remember the smiles on your face during our many dates, especially the very first one where you were just so happy. I really really really want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m saying this now and I will say it in 10 years. I’ve never been so close to anybody before so it’s still a little bit new on the environment. But I just love you so much… I really do. I want you to feel loved and cared for regardless what happens. I want you to know that I’m there for you whenever you need it. I know I’m clingy. I’m trying my best to ‘pretend’ like I don’t know anything that’s happening at school while I’m gone, and I’m trying my best to protect you. I’m probably overprotecting you and I’m sorry. I’ll give as much space as you need but just please stay. I want to cuddle with you whenever I can. I want to have hugs and kisses whenever I see you. I want to have good talks and listen to your problems whenever you need me to listen. There’s just so much more things I want to do with you. You’re my only. I’m so sorry for everything. I love you miss <3 don’t forget that.